


So...Do You Still Love Me

by Adayinmymeadow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Heart Break, Implied Smut, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:36:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adayinmymeadow/pseuds/Adayinmymeadow
Summary: the reader is tired of her boyfriend ghosting her, so she packs her bags to leave
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James “Bucky” Barnes/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	So...Do You Still Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> this is for @kellyn1604 5K writing challenge on tumblr! I chose the Prompt “i wish I knew how quit you!” So i was late posting this because my internet cut out for the day. >:( but here it is!  
So there maybe errors and grammar errors and typos...sorry.

Tears streaming down your face you packed your things. It had been the third week he had been gone, no call, no text, nothing to tell you he was okay. You threw your clothes in the luggage without care. You tossed the clothing articles that he had bought you on the bed. You didn’t want any memory of him.

Your phone rung, you gave a sniff as you wiped at your eyes. Your phone screen flashed sam’s number. You gave a bitter laugh pressing ignore. Anger bloomed through you as you tossed your phone on the bed. It was always sam that called you, that told you that your boyfriend was alive. He cared enough about you to make sure you knew BUcky was come home.

You were tired. You relationship with bucky had started out great, you two had met in a café, he commented on your dress and you excitedly told him it had pockets. He laughed calling you adorable and asked you out. The first four months had been heaven, you two had spent every second possible with each other. Your dates were adventures and he made sure to keep you happy. But soon you found yourself invited to his old friend steve’s hospital room. He cried as the doctor told him, his friend had onset dementia, after that bucky threw himself in to work seeing you every other day, to every other four days...to once a week.

When your eight-month anniversary hit, he hand delivered you red roses and showed you how much he appreciated you, only to leave the next morning. You didn’t see him until a month later, sam had called you telling you to come to the hospital. Bucky had been hospitalized from a fight with an enemy.

“Hey doll,” he greeted weakly as you ran in the hospital room, tears streaking down your face. “I’m fine.” Was all he said; but the bruises, cuts and bullet holes all over his body said other wise. You instantly forgave him, hugging him gently crying in to his hair. He whispered comfort words and hugged you tightly. That both he moved you in his apartment, you took care of him as he healed.

However when your one year anniversary came, the same thing happened. He slowly distanced himself from you, once again throwing himself into work. He would call you and send you cute pictures…but it stopped. Then he returned a month later, smiling and acting as if everything was okay. You forgave him telling yourself that it was his job, you loved him, he was just busy. Four weeks ago he left for a mission and the cycle started all over again.

A sound made you freeze, you looked over at the bedroom door to see bucky Enter, he slowly poked his head in a sheepish look on his face.

“Hey doll,” he greeted. That stupid smile you fell in love with on his face. You looked back down at the drawer, grabbing your clothing in your hands. “I’m sorry.” He spoke up, he held up a bouquet of red roses. You ignored him moving toward the luggage on your bed—you shook your head, his bed. In the corner of your eye you saw him move up to the bed. “Are you leaving?” He asked. You once again ignored him, moving away from his reach moving toward the side table, pulling open the drawer. You could hear him talking but you really didn’t care what he was saying. You gathered your things in the small drawer moving to dump the items in the luggage you, you didn’t care to be neat right now, you just wanted to leave. The cologne that bucky wore was making you dizzy, his voice was making you think maybe you were over reacting.

“Come on doll, please talk to me.” His voice broke through your thoughts. “I’m sorry.” You clenched the sides of the luggage, staring at the red roses he had placed inside the open case.

“You’re sorry?” You finally spoke. You were surprised how calm you sounded. “How many times did I hear that through out our entire relationship?” You asked. You didn’t look at him.he didn’t answer. “Well?”

“Doll—“ you gave a shout of frustration snatching up the roses, chucking it at him.

“Don’t call me that!” You shouted. “Do you even know my name?” You shouted. “Our entire relationship has been you calling me doll and saying your sorry!” Tears now streaked down your cheeks.

“Y/n,” he started softly. You shook your head.

“i wish I knew how quit you!” you told him. His eyes widen at your words. You gave a cruel laugh thinking of the last few weeks of your relationship. “every fucking time I think it’s over, you come and make me fall in love with you all over again!” you snatched up a pillow throwing it at him. “every time! Every fucking time! Just let me go! Make it easier for me!” you begun to sob. “i’m tired, james.”

‘no, please.” he whispered moving up to you trying to take you in his arms. You gave a squeal hitting him with the pillow stubbornly shaking your head. “i need you, please I need you.” he begged trying to kiss you. You pushed the pillow up to his face.

“No!” He let you go. You stumbled back.

“Please,” he whispered, he moved to his knees in front of you, his hands grabbing at your hips in desperation. “Please y/n.” You could see the tears falling from his eyes. You stared down at him in shock. This was the second time you ever saw him cry. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” He whispered pushing his head in to your torso, his arms wrapping around your body. “I’m sorry.” You mentally cursed yourself as you tossed the pillow aside hugging him back.

“I really wish I could quit you…” you whispered. Bucky’s arms tightened around you, he shook his head, you could hear him sniffling.

“I’m sorry.” He cried. “I really am.” You sighed looking around the room, then back down at him. You rubbed his back in comfort as he sobbed against your torso.

“Just talk to me.” You whispered. “Open up bucky.” He pulled away from your torso, his face a mess with tears and snot. You thought he looked adorable.

“I’ve been seeing a therapist.” Bucky spoke up. You looked up at him. He sat next to you on the bed. Both of you had sat in silence for half an hour as Bucky tried to gather his thoughts. “It started three weeks ago, Sam…” he cleared his throat. “Forced me.” You gave a small smile, imagining your big super solider being dragged into a office building by his friend.

“That’s good,” you started slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked softly. He sighed. His forearms on his thighs, his head hanging.

“I…don’t know.” He answered. “I treated you badly. My therapist says that with all the shit I’ve been through…” you reached out grabbing his arm, giving him a squeeze. He looked at you, his steel eyes red. “I guess I was scared everything was gonna be ripped away from me…like steve…” he sighed. “Everything was going amazing, but my mind was like…no, this is bad, bad things gonna happen. So I froze, I ran…I should have talked to you.” You nodded.

“Yeah, you dolt.” He gave you a look of surprise before bursting in to laughter. You smiled at him, he took your hand in his.

“I tried calling you from sam’s phone, but you ignored it.” You nodded.

“Yeah, I though he was calling to apologize for you again.” Bucky nodded.

“Damn, I am an ass.” You both laugh. He sighed leaning over so his head was on your shoulder. Can we start over?” He asked softly. “I really love you y/n. I’m in love with you.” Your heart skipped a beat. You looked down at his head wondering if you can try again, you did love him…

“Did you cut your hair?” You asked in wonder reaching out to touch his hair. He pulled away, his cheek red.

“Yeah…I had a mental breakdown this morning, and …” he cleared his thought. “I never heard Sam laugh so hard. He took me to get it fixed up.” He looked so different with shorter hair. He reached up sliding his hand through his short hair. “Do you like it?” He asked softly. You smiled at him.

“I do! It looks really good!” You reached out pulling a strand of hair. “I’m gonna miss braiding it but hell you look really hot.” He smiled shyly at you.

“Thank you.” He then leaned forward kissing you. He pulled back studying your face. “Y/n..” he whispered leaning forward again kissing you with need. You groaned in his mout as he pushed you in to the pile of clothes behind you. His hand groping and squeezing what he can. He pulled from you breathing hard. You didn’t say anything but reached up pulling him back down on you. Enjoying that feeling of him on top of you.

He helped you out of your shirt, kissing what ever flesh was exposed. Biting and sucking at your neck and shoulders. You didn’t care if the hangers were digging in your back, or if your hair was getting tangled in buttons and zippers of various clothing items. All you could think about was his mouth on you, his hands, the way his whispered your name… you let him make love to you. You let him show you just how sorry he was.

“ I swear, y/n,” bucky spoke softly his metal fingers lacing with yours. “No more running away, no more hiding my emotions.” He smiled down at you as you looked up at him. Your head on his naked chest, the steady beat of his heart could be heard. You stared at him. “I love you.” You pushed yourself up to kiss him on the mouth.

“Good,” you told him as you pulled away. He reached up cupping your face with his flesh hand. “I’m a kick ass girlfriend.” He nodded a smile on his lips.

“Damn straight doll.” He looked over at the clock on his side table. “It’s pretty early,” he started turning back to you. “I say we should continue with my apology and then get food?” You laughed leaning forward kissing him, pushing him on his back. He pulled you close groaning in your mouth.

As you moved to straddle your boyfriend, you knew that you couldn’t quit him. He was everything to you.


End file.
